~ I am not so sure that my introduction is the best way to start my paper off, or that all my ideas flow so smoothly with one another. As in this paragraph should follow that one, or should be moved to a different area.
Your paper does an excellent job of detailing the pros and cons of wearing sunglasses and fulfills the assignment required of it. Your essay has all of the effective parts of an arguement in it. You also use appropriate language for your target audience. The introduction is good and the the flow is not bad at all.
I think that your introduction is good and you don't need to worry about it. Your ideas flow smoothly also. I think that the essay does fulfill the assignment because it takes an item and analyzes it carefully. You haven't left anything out and you give details on certain things that sunglasses can change in a person's life. Your claim is that sunglasses do not only protect eyes, but they can change people's perspectives on the world and connections that are created between people. One thing that I would work on is grammatical errors. These are always common in first drafts so it is important to go back through and correct them after it is written. Good job!
2 comments:
Your paper does an excellent job of detailing the pros and cons of wearing sunglasses and fulfills the assignment required of it. Your essay has all of the effective parts of an arguement in it. You also use appropriate language for your target audience.
The introduction is good and the the flow is not bad at all.
I think that your introduction is good and you don't need to worry about it. Your ideas flow smoothly also. I think that the essay does fulfill the assignment because it takes an item and analyzes it carefully. You haven't left anything out and you give details on certain things that sunglasses can change in a person's life. Your claim is that sunglasses do not only protect eyes, but they can change people's perspectives on the world and connections that are created between people. One thing that I would work on is grammatical errors. These are always common in first drafts so it is important to go back through and correct them after it is written. Good job!
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